It all starts with YOU!
Since becoming a mother I have realised that there are so many judgemental people around. Being a mother is hard enough without having people adding their own judgements to what you are doing with your own child. I feel like at times people can try to make parenting a lot harder than it has to be and this is extremely unnecessary not to mention – rude!
I strongly believe that we should all mind our own business and if we feel like what we are going to say is not going to be very nice, then guess what?! Don’t say it!
Some mothers choose to breastfeed and some mothers don’t or simply cannot, regardless of whether a mother breastfeeds or bottle feeds as long as their child is being fed that is the most important thing. Some mothers choose to send their children to nursery from as young as 6 months whereas others may say, “oh I’ll never send my child to nursery!” – that is completely fine and again that is your own personal choice, but do not make others feel like bad mothers because they choose to do something that does not suit you.
Another example is where some mothers return to work very early after having their baby, unfortunately most do not have a choice, especially with how the economy is going. These mothers would surely spend their time with their babies, but then again they also have to make a living and have bills to pay – this does not make them bad mothers, it just means that they want to keep the roof over their heads and also ensure that their children have a good life.
On the other hand some mothers choose to be stay at home mothers – again this could be because they want to have a hand in their child’s life and offer them as much direction as possible whilst ensuring that they also have a good life too. Can you see the pros and cons for both situations?! Does it mean that the stay at home mother or the mother who returns to work are bad mothers? NO, it just means that both mothers are doing what they can for their children and above all their children are at the forefront of their minds.
We are all different and what works for mama A may not work for mama B, this is why the world is full of so many unique individuals because we are all created to think and act differently. The world would be very mundane if we all thought the same and did the exact same thing with our families.
To me it is so important to offer encouragement and support to other mothers because often motherhood is a very lonely place. Sometimes you can feel out of place because other mothers raise their children differently to yours, but be proud of yourself because you are doing an amazing job. Celebrate your uniqueness and get involved in local baby groups in order to meet other likeminded mothers and you will soon find that there are a lot of mothers who share your values.
If you know of a judgemental mother/individual politely tell them, “thank you so much for your input, but this is my baby and I am raising them this way.” You may shock them for a little bit and their mouths may fall open for a few seconds (maybe even minutes!), but in future they will learn to not put others down and keep their unsolicited advice to themselves!
With that said, not every piece of advice is negative, but learn to distinguish between negative, judgemental advice and advice from those who genuinely care and want to help you out. Here’s to helping other mothers out and supporting one another – without judging!
With love,
Roxanne-Sasha x
